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What if you turned into giant a monster?

Updated: Dec 15, 2021

Well, it wouldn't be totally terrible!

Just imagine that you wake up and something just doesn't feel right. Your toes are twitching. Your teeth are aching. Your legs are growing....wait just a second, cowkid! Growing? What do you mean? I can see your legs growing, cm by cm. Oh my...your nose is growing, too. Your teeth are growing and...changing shape. This is big news. Scales are popping up all over your body. Your skin is changing colour and growing tough and sturdy like a rhino. *THUMP!*

Your legs just crashed through the wall. Your house has a huge, gaping hole in it.

Your mum rushes in and screams! "Youuuuuuuuuuuuuu brokethewallllllllllwho is going to pay for thedamageoh my goodnessyou'veturned intoahugemonster! Don'tforget yourhomework!

Down below, you can hear the sirens of approaching firetrucks and police cars. The army is rolling up in tanks.

"Huge are surrounded...put down the mother." "It's my motherrrrrrrrrrr", you roar, "why are you scaring me!!!?"

"Oh...she is? Well....err...we made a huge mistake...sorry!"

You hear the police officers and firefighters and soldiers begin to mumble and grumble, "I thought it was going to be one of those really awful monsters. That's just a gigantic, monster-ish kid."

If you turned into a gigantic, armoured monster, you would still be you! That's important. You're a born citizen of your nation and you have certain rights, you know! Just because you're a bit MASSIVE, it doesn't mean that you don't have feelings. The government of your nation would still need to take care of you.

Even if you were just a small-giant-monster, you'd still have to be taken care of. This poses a few challenges. School wouldn't work for you anymore, would it? Books and pencils would be so tiny that you'd break them like cornflakes. You wouldn't be able to fit inside the school to begin with, so provisions would need to be made for you to have a private 1-to-1 tutor. are they going to speak loudly enough for your giant head, high up in the air, to hear? A megaphone? No, that's too irritating. They'll have to climb up and stand on your shoulder. Brilliant! Food is going to be a HUGE problem because your metabolism will continue at the same rate as now, but you'll be 100 times bigger. That means you're going to need to consume about 1500 calories x 100 - 150,000 calories! That sounds expensive for your parents. There are roughly 3000 calories in a large (very large) pizza, so 150,000/3000 = 50 large pizzas a day. A pizza costs about $20, so $20x50 = $1000 a day! Ahem..... This all means that the government is going to have to step in - perhaps even the United Nations - to feed you. Trucks are going to line up every day full of your daily calories. The thing is, you're going to grow. You don't stop growing until you reach about 20 years old, so you're going to double in weight and heigh, practically.

Eventually, you'll have to get a job. A job for a huge giant? Hmmmmm....You pull trees out of the ground with one hand. You can toss around elephants like pebbles. What could a giant like you do? To be continued...

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