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The Toilet Poem



Sparkling and clean, I sit poised in the bathroom.

Unlucky few come to their rather raucous doom.

Others enter merrily eager for the meet. And do their business with happily dancing feet.


Where, oh toilet, do you send off your precious cargo?

Dear child, it’s a rather immense show.

Does it go somewhere unseen and private? It’s off to the deep oceans to become a delighted shrimp’s diet.


Just don’t flush me too often for it really shakes my bones. As long as my contents aren’t too smelly and nobody moans.

Just let me rest a little because flushing is a thirsty business.

And then you won’t need to ask mother nature for her forgiveness.


A normal toilet flushes 1.6 gallons, Almost nothing next to my next door neighbour Alan’s.

He flushes everything down there. Including his CURLY EAR HAIR.


You’ll spend 3 years of your life sitting on this throne.

Not too long though or your bum will turn to stone.

Use the time to think of ways to live a better life. One without any problems and 0 toilet strife.


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