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What if you evolved overnight?

Your tail

At the very bottom of your spine, near your BUTT, is the coccyx section of your vertebrae. Guess what you used to be attached there! Oh, the title above kind of gave it away, right? Our ancestors probably possessed some kind of little, wriggly tail to assist with balance and movement. I’m talking millions of years ago because if you have a gander at a primate, they tend not to have one either. We’re talking millennia ago.

Also, ask someone to clap behind you. What happened when you heard it? Nothing? Don’t be so sure. When a sound emerges in the distance, your brain ‘moves’ your ears toward the sound like a dog or cat. It doesn’t really move, although some people can shuffle their ears, but your brain thinks it does. These are both evolutionary legacies left over from the earlier evolution of our species. Even how hairy we are gives an indication of it. As we wore more clothes, we needed less hair and we slowly evolved to lose it! Except my cousin, who is a hairy beast.

Speaking of butts and bums

Evolution typically follows the environment in which we live and the behaviour we carry out. If we consider modern kid - YOU - it seems evident that modern kids sit down a lot more. Your environment is far less wild and active than it was for your ancestors. Therefore, perhaps a salient next step in evolution is that your rump will grow! Big bums to make sitting more effective and comfortable. I’m serious. In fact, this sitting, to study and look at devices, will require a modification to your eyesight. Elongated exposure to screens makes your eyes incredibly tired and irritable, so it’s feasible that your eyes will grow a new protective layer like a nictitating membrane (the extra layer crocodiles have to protect their eyes from water).

If this occurs, your eyes will begin to look a bit strange and blurry, but they will be able to watch screens or focus on a piece of paper for 10 hours a day without an issue!

Oh, you want something more thrilling

I understand, I really do. You’re expecting something like a superhero? Well, we don’t really live active lives and are very sedentary, making this unlikely, but let’s imagine it! If your brains develop to live in harmony with the technology that dominates our lives, then perhaps your brains may take the next leap. We don’t understand everything about subatomic science or the universe, the possibility remains that we may discover some power, like Jedis, to control subatomic mass. This could mean that you could move objects through telekinesis simply by moving something in your mind. You’d be able to write on paper without picking up the pencil. You’d be a dab hand at building machines without lifting a finger.

Even more thrilling

Let’s think about something necessary in your life - transportation! If you evolved to be more skilled at moving, then you could discover the ability to teleport wherever the mood takes you. You’d simply transform into a gaseous state, surge instantly through the air, and reappear moments later somewhere else. It sounds nuts, but imagine if you were simply bending space-time, exploiting wormholes in front of our faces. There is so much we can’t see, which means there are so many possibilities waiting for us in the future. You could unlock these possibilities and teleport to the cookie jar!

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